I first read this quote when I was 21 and it has stuck with me ever since. I wondered, “how do opposites co-exist?” and “how does that tension lead to love?”

One such tension is between accepting people for who they are and where they are vs. encouraging and challenging them to grow. This is also the biggest tension I experience as a therapist, and I don’t think the answer is simply one or the other.

As a therapist, I provide unconditional positive regards for my clients and their struggles, but also keep them accountable to the growth and improvement they seek in their lives.

I think this is helpful not just in therapy, but in any caring relationship. The relationship you have with yourself, the relationship you have with your God, the relationship you have with your partner. If I were to start anywhere though, I would start with acceptance and love before moving towards change and growth.

My work

Yoojin Nam LMFT is the author of Thinking to Feel. He has been providing psychotherapy for 7 years and is licensed to practice in CA & TX.

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Disclaimer: These posts are not a replacement for therapy. The information contained within is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be therapeutic advice.