The potential for loss is scary. That fear of loss can be financial, relational, or something else personal. It may prevent us from making that investment, applying for that new job, starting a new relationship, or even letting one go. But it doesn’t have to prevent you. Fear can protect us from danger if that danger is real, but sometimes it’s not.

Reframing the fear of loss

Instead of what if I lose? Try what if I succeed? What if it just all works out for the better? If it has the potential to work out, then fear the limiting belief itself. Because the greatest loss is the one that you never achieve because you never tried. The question then becomes: What if it would’ve worked out if I tried? but because I was afraid, I didn’t.

Acknowledge your efforts especially when you fail. Facing your fear or trying something new is something to be proud of and celebrated. It also builds confidence and resilience over time!

Lastly, I deeply understand loss is scary and grief is real, especially if you lose someone you loved. But that also means you had the opportunity to love deeply too. Even if the loss becomes real, it’s only painful because you deeply loved in the first place.

My work

Yoojin Nam LMFT is the author of Thinking to Feel. He has been providing psychotherapy for 7+ years and is licensed to practice in CA & TX.

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Disclaimer: These posts are not a replacement for therapy. The information contained within is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be therapeutic advice.