The rule of Thirds as explained by Olympian Alexi Pappas is… when you’re chasing your goals, you’re supposed to feel good a 1/3 of the time, okay a 1/3 of the time, and crappy 1/3 of the time. And if the ratio is off, to adjust.

I like this advice because it normalizes feeling crappy when you’re chasing your goals or your dreams, but also explains you shouldn’t feel crappy all the time. In fact, most of the time, you should feel good to okay.

Situational

It is hard to generalize this rule to every situation, but I like to use it as a sort of barometer for own work as a therapist. I am living my dream of being my own boss and therapist. Still, some days I feel like it’s just a job, some days I feel exhausted, and some days I feel like the best therapist in the world (regardless of the reality of the situation).

Depending on this ratio, I often times do adjust. If I’m feeling exhausted, I will engage more fully in self-care, stop taking new clients, adjust my schedule or go on vacations. At times, I feel like I could challenge myself more, and I’ll engage in new activities such as these: writing a newsletter or preparing to expand my practice in other ways (more to come on this 🙂).

I think regardless of the ratio of how you feel, it’s an important practice to listen to your body and adapt the best way you can. I know not all situations are conducive to this balance nor are all situations permanent. Sometimes, our situations ask us to endure as we look forward to easier times. Regardless, I hope that you can make those changes towards your dreams and goals too, so that you can feel a little better, at least one-third of the time.

My work

Yoojin Nam LMFT is the author of Thinking to Feel. He has been providing psychotherapy for 7 years and is licensed to practice in CA & TX.

Could therapy benefit you? Request a 15-minute free consultation.

Disclaimer: These posts are not a replacement for therapy. The information contained within is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be therapeutic advice.